Are You Undermining Yourself?

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Are you considering how to make real change in your life? How you approach change may undermine or improve how effective you are at reaching your goals. Here are five ideas that may help you to create the genuine personal transformations that you want, so that you're living the way you believe is healthiest and happiest for you.

Choose the Appropriate Season

Winter is the season of hibernation. When it’s cold outside, we’re not inclined to begin new activities. Weather may make it challenging to keep appointments or gather items you need to reach your goals. Think about what it is that you want to do and plan to begin in the appropriate season. If you want to run a marathon but live in Minnesota, you’ll likely give up on your goal if you begin in January rather than in May. If you want to learn how to can and preserve food, the harvest season is the time for that. If you want to learn how to knit, winter is a great season. Set yourself up for success by choosing appropriate timing to start your journey.

Make Small and Gentle Goals

Start small. If your ultimate goal is to lose a great deal of weight, begin by addressing how many servings of fruits and vegetables you eat or researching meal plans that are appropriate for your specific medical needs. If you want to be more fit, consider activities that you enjoy that will get you moving. If you hate tennis, don’t make a tennis date with your friend who’s a retired tennis pro! Instead, go for a walk along a creek with your dog or try a yoga class that focuses on gentle practices. Do what you like doing. Incremental steps will give you opportunities to feel accomplished and help you ease your way toward larger goals.

Consider, too, making goals that are gentler. For example, instead of setting a number on a scale, think about how you want to feel. Do you want to be able to move better or walk farther or improve your sleep? These are all attainable goals on which you can see improvement over time. You’ll enjoy seeing progress when you set goals that are reasonable and attainable in the short term.

Choose Activities You Might Enjoy

A popular goal is to become fitter or exercise more. Unfortunately, many people choose what they think they should do—like go to the gym or jog—rather than what they might enjoy doing. Instead, try something you’ve always wanted to do that will make you more active. Maybe you like the idea of fencing or tai chi or sailing. Any of these would increase your activity level and improve your fitness. Once you find something you like, you’re more apt to stick with it.

You can also try new activities. If you’re stressed out, perhaps try crocheting or puzzles to calm your nerves. Cooking relaxes some and agonizes others, but you don't know until you try. Do you want to ride a horse or learn French or weave your own rug? Remember to give yourself permission not to be good at something while you learn. If you find an activity that resonates with you, you’re more likely to continue doing it and thus gain positive results.

Change in Connection with Others

If you join in your goal with someone you like, you’re likely to hold one another accountable to meet agreed upon benchmarks. When you enjoy an activity and will let someone else down by not showing up for an appointment, you could overcome lethargy and increase your consistency. Walk with someone you enjoy talking with. Get a friend to help you organize your attic or throw out the junk accumulating in your garage. Meet someone for coffee twice a month to review the books each of you is writing. Joining in activities with friends will improve your mood and your potential to meet your goals.

Focus on What Matters to You

It doesn’t matter what people tell you to do—be it lose weight or get a different job or find a therapist; if you are content with your life and your lifestyle, forget external suggestions. Make the changes that matter to you. If you want to make a change in your life, what is it? Why is making this change important to you? If you can identify what you want to be different and why, you’ll give yourself impetus to change. Someone you care about saying you shouldn’t eat the cupcake isn’t going to keep you from eating what you want. But you wanting a change enough so that you’re willing to work through the initial discomfort of living differently may just be the commitment you need to create a different life for yourself.