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Key points
- Nearly everyone lives with fear at times; it is a normal human emotion.
- Sometimes, however, that fear can become overwhelming.
- In children, excessive fear can lead to school avoidance, impacting social and academic development.
- Fortunately, there are steps that one can take to help overcome excessive fears in oneself or one's children.
There are countless things to be afraid of in life, and I (almost) mean that literally. Beyond bugs and heights, I have worked with patients who are afraid of doctors (iatrophobia or “white coat syndrome”), bridges (gephyrophobia), and even Santa Claus (santaphobia). And yes, they all have interesting names, some as scary sounding as the feared item itself.
The word phobia is derived from Greek, so officially, the term connected with it is also supposed to be of Greek origin, although many Latin terms have found their way into the vernacular. While it is sometimes fun to explore the more obscure phobias (think octophobia: fear of the number eight), having an actual phobia is anything but enjoyable. For adults, the phobia can seriously limit a person’s functioning. For children, it leads to heightened anxiety and may culminate in school avoidance, seriously impacting social and educational development. Outcome measures for treating specific phobias are varied, according to a 2021 survey by the World Health Organization (WHO). Generally speaking, the more a person persists in seeking treatment for the phobia, the better the outcome (up to 85.7 percent), so it is important to keep trying to overcome the fear.
If you or your child experiences a phobia, you may wish to try the following to reduce the distress surrounding it.
1. Name the fear.
Similar to naming negative emotions, labeling the fear tends to reduce the power of the feared item. Dr. Dan Siegel, clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA, summarizes this experience as “name it to tame it.” Pixar’s movie Monsters, Inc. illustrates this nicely as the monster in the closet becomes less scary when Boo names it Kitty (and vice-versa).
2. Talk about and analyze the fear.
Ask yourself whether the fear is rational. Since many fears are irrational in nature, this step helps to identify and reverse “worst-case scenario” thinking. It is important to note that while the percentage of many feared items happening is extremely remote, they are not necessarily 0 percent. Therefore, this step is often paired with finding a way to make peace with the feared stimulus still existing in the world.
3. Safely face the fear.
This is demonstrated to be the most enduring way to put fears behind us. Any unhelpful coping mechanisms, especially avoidance, must be eliminated. It is crucial to set the stage for success by safely and gradually facing the feared stimulus. For instance, if someone is afraid of snakes, picturing a snake in one’s mind comes first, then looking at a picture of the sidewinder, and finally going to the Reptile House at the zoo. These steps can be paired with relaxation strategies to limit the physiological fear response. Not facing, or worse, avoiding, fear tends to give it more power and make the phobia stronger over time.
In summary, it is perfectly natural and human to experience fears. However, when that fear becomes excessive or fixed, it can prevent us from enjoying the joys or necessities of life, such as travel, seeing the doctor, or even school attendance. If a phobia persists, it is always an option to seek the help of a mental health professional. Whatever you do, it is important not to let the fear consume you or your child’s life. Accepting that fears are a part of life allows a person to test their courage and to avoid a self-perpetuating phobophobia in which fear of the fear becomes as stressful as the thing itself.
References
de Vries, Y. (2021). Perceived helpfulness of treatment for specific phobia: Findings from the World Mental Health Surveys. Journal of Affective Disorders, 288, 199-209.
