When Is It OK to Share Your Achievements?

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There has always been a divide between people who are loud and proud about their achievements and those who prefer to hide their light under a bushel. The former will quote Walt Whitman, saying “If you’ve done it, it ain’t bragging”, while the latter look on in horror at people they might consider to be uncouth braggarts and loudmouths.

Our love of social media, combined with the related growth of social perfectionism, as we seek to put forth the best possible image of ourselves to the outside world, has supercharged the tendency to share our successes. Now any achievement has to be accompanied by the requisite beaming selfie and Instagram story.

Surely, however, there isn’t a right and wrong. There has to be a place for sharing achievements and letting people know what we are capable of; after all, if you don’t believe in yourself, why should anyone else? We can’t, however, lose our humility in our drive to manage our personal brand.

So where is the line?

Gender and Cultural Differences

When exploring where the right line is between ‘bragging’ and sharing achievements, we need to factor in differences of gender, culture, and personality type. Let’s look at the first two here (I have looked at differences between introverts and extroverts as well as how to engage with neurodiverse people, in other articles).

In her book Beyond the Boys Club, Suzanne Doyle Morris shares the story of Laura Hinton, head of the Human Resources Transformation Group at PwC, who, despite making partner at a leading consultancy firm, struggled to share her successes. Hinton told Doyle Morris, “Early on, my team won a project worth several hundred thousand pounds; I forced myself to write an email to a senior partner who I knew would be key in deciding who the next batch of partners would be.

“It took me an hour to write the perfect two-line email saying that we had won a new client, and my finger just hovered over the send button for ages!”

In a study involving over 4,000 adult and 10,000 school-aged participants, Christine L. Exley and Judd B. Kessler found a large gender gap in self-promotion. Exley and Kessler found that women subjectively describe their ability and performance to potential employers less favourably than equally performing men, and the difference was also reflected in how they evaluated their own performance.

Meanwhile, cultural background is also has a big influence on people’s natural inclination to share their achievements. On arriving in the U.S. in 2001, the Irish philosopher Charles Handy wrote, “Anyone visiting America from Europe cannot fail to be struck by the energy, enthusiasm and confidence.” A positive, supportive culture can make it feel more natural to share and celebrate together.

Much of the inclination to share achievements comes from whether the culture celebrates achievements of the individual or the collective success of the group. The American Dream is predicated on individual success, making it important to shine a light on each person’s achievements. A more collectivist society frowns on individual achievement beyond the group; members still share individual success but are more selective and precise in how they do so.

We need to understand such differences when deciding whether it’s right to share our achievements. Both understanding our own natural inclination and how it will be received, based on the background and make-up of the people we are sharing with, will help us to find the right balance.

Claiming the Credit You’re Due

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Failing to take credit for your achievements can lead to opportunities passing you by, so there needs to be a willingness to speak up at key points, particularly when it comes to career progression or business success. You need to be able to effectively communicate your abilities and how you can help people.

That doesn’t have to always be in overt ways, such as social media posts, although they can be part of the mix. Directly answering questions about your achievements or successes in interviews or meetings rather than modestly passing on the credit to someone else is a big step for many, but one that can have a massive impact.

Don’t just focus on the results you’ve achieved, share the journey, too. Most books and films are structured around the hero’s journey, a tale of trial and tribulation before ultimate success. We engage with people who have overcome challenges and adversity before thriving, rather than people who find success easy to come by. And people relate to stories.

You don’t need to be the only one speaking about your achievements. If you work for a large organisation, find a sponsor who will take on the task of speaking up for you in meetings and amplifying your qualities. Mentors and your wider network can take on this role for you, too, but you must guide them to do so; sitting back and hoping that others will act as your advocates will typically lead to disappointment. Other people don’t think about you as often as you might think!

Who Are You Serving?

Ultimately, if you want to judge whether you are becoming a bore who likes to look good in front of others or are justified in celebrating your successes, understand why you are sharing and the impact it has.

On a personal note, it’s not necessarily a bad thing to boost your ego now and then. A strong ego feeds self-confidence and self-esteem, which, in moderation, helps people step forward for new roles, face challenges, and lead others.

But who else can you serve by sharing your success?

If you are from a disadvantaged or minority group, sharing your achievements can inspire others to aim high. If you hide those achievements, who will you prevent from wanting to emulate them and aim higher for themselves?

In addition, your success provides reassurance to people who might use your talents. It gives them confidence that you know what you are doing and that you’re equipped to deliver the results they are looking for. By sharing what you offer, what you’ve achieved, and what you’re putting out there, you are alerting them to information and opportunities that may well help them, too.

Ultimately, there is a place for humility and one for taking credit. Humility is a much-admired quality, but perhaps it is a luxury for those who have reached their goals already or who have nothing left to offer. If you’re still making your mark and need to be noticed and supported to continue your journey, too much modesty might cost you dear.