Brothers, Sisters, Strangers

Family Dynamics

Broadening National Siblings Day to Include the Estranged

Fern Schumer Chapman on April 10, 2024

The founder of National Siblings Day defends her idea, more broadly defines "sibling," and offers programs for those who step into the role of a brother or sister.

The founder of National Siblings Day defends her idea, more broadly defines "sibling," and offers programs for those who step into the role of a brother or sister.

Religion

How Religious Shunning Ruins Lives

Fern Schumer Chapman on March 27, 2024

Religious shunning—an institutionalized form of estrangement—is a social death penalty that results in helplessness, depression, low self-esteem, and suicidal ideation.

Religious shunning—an institutionalized form of estrangement—is a social death penalty that results in helplessness, depression, low self-esteem, and suicidal ideation.

Family Dynamics

What Research Is Telling Us About Family Estrangement

Fern Schumer Chapman on February 19, 2024

The topic of estrangement has been largely overlooked by researchers, but this study quantifies the deep emotional pain behind these family divides.

The topic of estrangement has been largely overlooked by researchers, but this study quantifies the deep emotional pain behind these family divides.

Family Dynamics

Why Siblings in Holocaust Families Struggle to Get Along

Fern Schumer Chapman on January 27, 2024

Sibling estrangement often occurs in Holocaust families because trauma in general, which defines the Holocaust experience, is a risk factor for estrangement.

Sibling estrangement often occurs in Holocaust families because trauma in general, which defines the Holocaust experience, is a risk factor for estrangement.

Attachment

Betrayal Blindness: Not Seeing What’s Obvious

Fern Schumer Chapman on December 19, 2023

A betrayed individual who has "betrayal blindness" goes numb, never confronting the loved one or withdrawing from the relationship.

A betrayed individual who has "betrayal blindness" goes numb, never confronting the loved one or withdrawing from the relationship.

Family Dynamics

The Fine Line Between Sibling Rivalry and Abuse

Fern Schumer Chapman on December 6, 2023

Violent, bullying behavior between siblings is often overlooked or dismissed as "normal." Here's how to tell what's rivalry and what's abuse.

Violent, bullying behavior between siblings is often overlooked or dismissed as "normal." Here's how to tell what's rivalry and what's abuse.

Relationships

15 Ways to Cope with the Holidays After Family Estrangement

Fern Schumer Chapman on November 19, 2023

The holidays bring estrangement into sharp relief. Here are a few tips on how to cope, whether you choose to stay home or go to your family gatherings

The holidays bring estrangement into sharp relief. Here are a few tips on how to cope, whether you choose to stay home or go to your family gatherings

Family Dynamics

Why Black Families Feel Intensely the Stigma of Estrangement

Fern Schumer Chapman on October 31, 2023

Black families may not admit, especially to white people, that some relatives don't talk to each other. They may fear that estrangement is another failing that needs to be "fixed."

Black families may not admit, especially to white people, that some relatives don't talk to each other. They may fear that estrangement is another failing that needs to be "fixed."

Sexual Orientation

New Study Finds Half of LGBTQ+ Are Estranged From Family

Fern Schumer Chapman on October 10, 2023

A new study finds that nearly half of LGBTQ+ young adults are estranged from one family member, and one-third are “not confident” that the family will accept them if they came out.

A new study finds that nearly half of LGBTQ+ young adults are estranged from one family member, and one-third are “not confident” that the family will accept them if they came out.

Narcissism

Can Narcissism Be Identified in Children?

Fern Schumer Chapman on September 28, 2023

Certain narcissistic behaviors, such as monopolizing conversations, belittling friends, overreactions, and a lack of empathy, may appear in childhood.

Certain narcissistic behaviors, such as monopolizing conversations, belittling friends, overreactions, and a lack of empathy, may appear in childhood.

Family Dynamics

How Childhood Sibling Conflicts Reappear in Adult Relationships

Fern Schumer Chapman on September 12, 2023

Siblings profoundly shape one another; early hurts or distorted perceptions of our first playmates are often re-enacted in adult relationships.

Siblings profoundly shape one another; early hurts or distorted perceptions of our first playmates are often re-enacted in adult relationships.

Family Dynamics

Can Families Reconcile Without Talking About Their Issues?

Fern Schumer Chapman on August 22, 2023

There are simply no rules on how to reconcile. However, without discussion, there’s a good chance the very issues that drove the estrangement will re-emerge.

There are simply no rules on how to reconcile. However, without discussion, there’s a good chance the very issues that drove the estrangement will re-emerge.

Family Dynamics

How to Explain a Family Estrangement to Children

Fern Schumer Chapman on August 8, 2023

What parents can do to lessen the confusion children experience when they are cut off from precious family relations due to estrangement.

What parents can do to lessen the confusion children experience when they are cut off from precious family relations due to estrangement.

Family Dynamics

How to Reconcile With an Estranged Family Member

Fern Schumer Chapman on July 11, 2023

Many relationships lapse back into estrangement after attempting to reconcile. Here's a list of dos and don'ts to aid in rebuilding a relationship.

Many relationships lapse back into estrangement after attempting to reconcile. Here's a list of dos and don'ts to aid in rebuilding a relationship.

Family Dynamics

How Photos and Social Media Posts Wound Distanced Family Members

Fern Schumer Chapman on June 27, 2023

Old family photographs and social media accounts can pose difficult choices for the estranged who don't want to be constantly reminded of their losses.

Old family photographs and social media accounts can pose difficult choices for the estranged who don't want to be constantly reminded of their losses.

Family Dynamics

How People Decide to End Contact With a Toxic Relative

Fern Schumer Chapman on June 14, 2023

Some who endure physical, psychological, or emotional suffering choose no contact as a last resort; This tactic protects and insulates a family member from endless hurt.

Some who endure physical, psychological, or emotional suffering choose no contact as a last resort; This tactic protects and insulates a family member from endless hurt.

Autism

A Hidden Cause of Some Difficult Family Relationships

Fern Schumer Chapman on May 31, 2023

Undiagnosed autism limits the emotional connection of adult relationships in the family; it could be a hidden cause of troubled relationships.

Undiagnosed autism limits the emotional connection of adult relationships in the family; it could be a hidden cause of troubled relationships.

Relationships

Choosing Between Authenticity and Attachment

Fern Schumer Chapman on May 3, 2023

We have a need for attachment and a need for authenticity, but some people chose to abandon their true selves to please others, inside or outside of their families.

We have a need for attachment and a need for authenticity, but some people chose to abandon their true selves to please others, inside or outside of their families.

Family Dynamics

Grieving the Death of an Estranged Family Member

Fern Schumer Chapman on April 10, 2023

The illness or death of an estranged family member can be vexing for surviving relatives. Should they say goodbye? Attend the funeral? Send flowers?

The illness or death of an estranged family member can be vexing for surviving relatives. Should they say goodbye? Attend the funeral? Send flowers?

Family Dynamics

4 Factors That Define Sibling Relationships

Fern Schumer Chapman on March 21, 2023

A new book explores how the quality and emotional tone of sibling relationships in childhood helps explain adult connections with lovers, friends, and coworkers.

A new book explores how the quality and emotional tone of sibling relationships in childhood helps explain adult connections with lovers, friends, and coworkers.