Rethink Dry January: A Therapist's Guide to Sober Curiosity

Despite the recent skepticism around the Dry January trend, most people can benefit from a collective effort in rethinking our relationship with alcohol, especially if we enter the experience with the right mindset. Let me start by sharing my own experience to shed light on this topic.

My Personal Journey with Dry January

As a daily drinker in the past, my attempts at Dry January were marked by early setbacks. I wasn't alone; a 2021 survey revealed that nearly one in 10 participants resumed drinking by January 3rd.

January's symbolism as a fresh start is potent, yet there's no magic in its ability to foster instant change. Viewing Dry January as a challenge can be counterproductive, often leading to self-doubt and a sense of failure. This mindset trapped me in a cycle of increased drinking after my Dry January attempts.

My Professional Take with Dry January

As a therapist and sober curiosity guide, I see the pitfalls of focusing solely on abstaining from alcohol. True change lies deeper than mere behavior—it's about our beliefs, thoughts, and emotions. For instance, if I drink socially, believing it's the only way to enjoy myself, it's this belief that fuels my drinking habit, not the social setting itself.

By aiming only to stay dry, we're merely pulling weeds without addressing the root causes. Thus, when February arrives, many revert to their old habits, their beliefs about alcohol unchanged.

An Experiment, Not a Challenge

A sober January offers a valuable opportunity for exploration, especially when approached with an experimental mindset. That’s why in my online course, Sober Curiosity Lab, I show participants how to treat Sober January as an experiment, not a challenge. The differences are subtle, yet crucial.

1. Beyond All-or-Nothing:

A Dry January challenge creates a win-or-lose scenario, leaving little room for learning. A Sober Experiment, however, is about discovery—every outcome, whether expected or not, offers valuable insights.

I urge you to enter this January with an experimentation mindset. If you get the result by the end, that’s great! And if you don’t get the result, know that you gain information and insights. They, too, are invaluable assets that will allow you to make positive changes toward a better relationship with alcohol. There is no such thing as losing in an experiment.

2. Beyond Behavioral

A Dry January challenge focuses solely on behavior and overlooks the need for cognitive and emotional shifts. A Sober Experiment, however, emphasizes challenging your beliefs about alcohol and exploring alcohol-free enjoyment.

I encourage you to use this January as an opportunity to test out your beliefs about alcohol or what life could be like with less drinking. For example, if you believe that you won’t be able to enjoy yourself without alcohol, then use this month to test out different non-drinking activities, keep an open mind about your experience, and see whether you can find any alcohol-free way to enjoy yourself. Thus, by the end of this month, you will be able to walk away with a slightly different belief about how life could be with less alcohol.

3. Beyond Results

A Dry January Challenge fixates on the end result—staying dry. A Sober Experiment approach encourages curiosity about the journey, helping you explore and discover what a healthier relationship with alcohol means for you personally.

I recommend you hold a curious mind about the process of how to become “drier.” The goal is to find out what a better relationship with alcohol looks like uniquely for you. Alcohol often serves a purpose in a person’s life, and to reduce one’s alcohol consumption, one needs to find alternative ways to fulfill that purpose. A Sober January Experiment is a perfect opportunity to explore alternative non-drinking activities to fulfill the purpose that alcohol serves. With some experimentation, by the end of January, you will be able to walk away with a few more tools in your toolkit to relax, have fun, and connect with others without relying on alcohol.

Embrace Your Sober Curiosity Experiment

This January, I invite you to join me in treating it as an enlightening experiment. Whether you stay completely dry or not, the goal is to gather tools and insights for a healthier, more fulfilling relationship with alcohol. For more Sober Curiosity tips, visit my website.