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To paraphrase Joseph Conrad, “Mistah Sandusky, he dead.”
Jerry Sandusky is not dead, of course, but he is finished. The trial of the former Penn State football coach and founder of a charity for kids, The Second Mile, is over. He has been found guilty on 45 of 48 counts relating to child sexual abuse. (Disclaimer: I lived in State College and was affiliated with Penn State for 15 years. I didn’t know Jerry and his wife, Dottie personally, but they were well-known local personalities – particularly Jerry.)
I am appalled, sick at heart, and a bit relieved.
The testimony from the alleged victims was heart-wrenching and vivid, painting a classic portrait of a pedophile who lured young boys in with attention, gifts, and expensive trips and then engaged in unwilling sex with them repeatedly. The boys, usually fatherless or at least from broken homes, adored the attention, the “fathering”, the access to Penn State football games and “insider” status. According to their testimony, they hated the sexual encounters, tried to avoid the “roughhousing” and showering together that often led to sex, sometimes hid when they stayed overnight in the Sandusky’s basement in hopes Sandusky would leave them alone. One reportedly cried out for help, knowing Dottie Sandusky was upstairs, but she didn’t hear or didn’t respond. An assistant football coach testified that he witnessed Sandusky raping a boy in the showers at Penn State and duly reported it to his superiors.
Dottie Sandusky did not attend the first week of the trial. She has not given a public reason, but I wonder if it was to avoid seeing the faces and hearing the testimony of boys she had in her house, almost in her family, for months at a time. If she knew what her husband was doing, she is a facilitator of horrific behavior. But she is of the generation that “hitched their wagon to a star” by marrying a promising young man and taking care of all of the concerns of home and family while he rose to prominence. Women of her age were complete support systems for their husbands. Their glory lay in an immaculate home, their family (the Sanduskys adopted six children), and their marriages. He was the star; she was the woman behind the star.
Not surprisingly, Dottie Sandusky vigorously denied any knowledge of inappropriate behavior on her husband’s part, tacitly accusing Jerry’s former favorites of lying. Clearly she was less fond of at least two of the boys than her husband was, saying of one, ““He was very demanding. And he was very conniving. And he wanted his way, and he didn’t listen a whole lot.” Of another, she remarked, “He was a charmer. He knew what to say and when to say it.” I hear undertones of resentment about the time and money Jerry spent on them in her voice.
For one of her generation and mindset, denial is the only possibility. The acts of which her husband of 48 years has been convicted are so heinous that they are a betrayal of their lives together. The crimes of which he has been found guilty negate much of what she has done or been for almost 50 years. Many wives of pedophiles do not know or do not want to know so fervently that they convince themselves everything they have seen is entirely innocent.
After the trial ended, one of the Sandusky’s adopted sons, Matt, came forward with a public statement that he, too, was abused and had been willing to testify in court. His former wife obtained a court order preventing Jerry Sandusky from seeing their children. It seems that Matt’s evidence was not presented at the trial because the prosecution used the threat of his testimony to prevent Jerry Sandusky from taking the stand to deny the accusations. Pedophiles are often charming and highly plausible and Jerry Sandusky fooled many good people into trusting him. Better not to have him speak.
So here we have the wreckage of many lives. Let’s count it up: one woman, one marriage, one man who can never be cleared of this shame even if he gets the decision overturned (which seems unlikely), at least one adopted child, at least 10 other children, the career of the late Joe Paterno (fired for not doing more after the accusations became public), the career of Graham Spanier, the former President of Penn State who was fired for similar reasons; one charity that did good work (The Second Mile is now defunct), the honor of a football program, the trust of a small college town that life would generally be good and safe.
When I lived in State College, there was a commonly used phrase “This is State College”, meaning “this is a town shielded from the problems of the modern world.” We all lived in a kind of time warp, where there was little violent crime, the drug problem was relatively small despite the large student population, the streets were safe to walk, our front doors and garages were never locked. No more.
I thought I understood the situation when I read an article in the New York Times by Amos Kamil about sexual abuse some 20 years ago at Horace Mann, an elite private school in NY. (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/10/magazine/the-horace-mann-schools-secret-history-of-sexual-abuse.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1) Many former students have now come forward making accusations against particular teachers. The sentiments of shame, guilt, betrayal, confusion and anger that most of the former students expressed to Kamil sound all too familiar. The teachers covered up the abuse as best they could, probably through flat-out denial as at Penn State. The students were frightened, scared and intimidated by their teachers, and ultimately scarred. They tell tales of lifelong struggle with trust, of addiction and alcoholism, a suicide, and deep rage.
The Horace Mann scandal revealed to me another side to such abuse. After Amos Kamil ‘s article came out, Jenny Anderson, another Times reporter, went to interview Tek Young Lin, a Buddhist who had taught English at Horace Mann. Lin admits to having had sexual relations with a number of students. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/24/nyregion/tek-young-lin-ex-horace-mann-teacher-says-he-had-sex-with-students.html?pagewanted=all
Stunningly, Anderson reports that Lin was “puzzled” by the accusations. ’“I’m surprised they remember,” he said to her, “It was all so casual and warm. “
Is there a young man or woman who does not remember their first sexual encounter? Could Lin's favorites possibly have forgotten what occurred? I don't think so.
One of his former students labels Lin “delusional” for this remark and wonders how Lin could fail to recognize the “built-in power dynamic with a teacher and a student.”
Though Lin is described as a kindly and gentle man who exerted a positive influence on many students, even his former favorites, to initiate sexual relations with students was wrong.
Lin disagrees and told the reporter, “It did not seem really wrong. The only thing I can assure you of was that everything I did was in warmth and affection and not a power play.”
Perhaps Jerry Sandusky would chime in and agree that what he did was out of affection and warmth for the boys he abused.
Now I look back at my days in State College and wonder what we all missed: “The horror! The horror!”
