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Key points
- While it may be difficult to make a living in the arts, sometimes combining that with something more marketable can work.
- By their mid 20s, most people's dating experience provides useful lessons on what to do more of, less of, and differently.
- Even if you optimize your worklife, relationships, avocations, and spirituality, you may have to accept the life isn't as awesome as fantasized.
I’ve had a number of clients who are personally unsatisfied and professionally adrift. Often, they ask, "Is this all there is to my life?" This composite is illustrative.
When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a ballet dancer. Then I wanted to be an Olympic gymnast, and then a singer. I even sent a demo to nightclubs. Except for one polite rejection, the response was silence.
I went to college, had no idea what I wanted to major in and, I guess because there was a lot of activism on my campus, I majored in politics. But while I had a good time out of class, in my courses, I kind of went through the motions.
After I graduated, I still had no idea what I really wanted to do. Use my politics major? I didn’t want to run for office, be an activist, or go to grad school.
Finally, my dad said he’d hire me as a bookkeeper, Reluctantly, I agreed. Now it’s two years later and I’m still doing that. It’s not terrible but it’s hard to swallow that my career will be in accounting or anything like that.
I’ve had relationships. Some were like sparklers: sizzled but quickly fizzled. Two seemed more real but, within a couple months, both of the guys backed away.
Singing? A friend asked me to sing a song at her wedding. That’s cool, but really, really, I have a pathetic little life. Can you help?
Questions that may help
I’d ask such a person these questions:
Have you considered under-the-radar politics-related careers? A few examples: campaign management, pollster, or staffer for an elected official. I even know someone who makes a living putting up political signs during the campaign seasons and removing them afterward.
It sounds like you enjoy performing—You're looking forward to singing at your friend's wedding. While the odds of making a decent living at those are small, many other careers require performance, for example, teacher, salesperson, fundraiser, and health educator. To explain the latter a bit, health care systems provide workshops on weight loss, substance abuse cessation, and disease management.
Had you considered ways to combine your politics degree with performing? Running for office isn't the only option. For example, some politicians use stand-ins for various events—The politician can't be at every pancake breakfast and crab feed. When lobbyists make their case, they're performing. And political staffers often do door-to-door canvassing—Each time someone answers the door, you get to do a performance. No, it's not the same as getting a standing ovation from a packed house, but it's something.
How about combining your politics degree with your bookkeeping experience? For example, might you get take an accounting course, certificate, or degree specializing in political or at least nonprofit accounting? Political operations have accounting requirements. Perhaps you can help fulfill them.
Most people don't pursue careers related to their major. Is it time to do some exploring, perhaps browsing the Occupational Outlook Handbook? It profiles 300 popular careers. Or think of what your friends, relatives, or parents of your friends do for a living. Might any of them open a door to a career you might find appealing?
Might you want to pursue your singing or dancing as a sideline? A few examples: Starting or joining a band, singing at least for starters at open-mic nights taking or even teaching dance classes, or auditioning for musicals in community theatre.
Are there lessons to be learned from your dating? Are there things you should do more of, less of, or differently? For example, should you be more honest in your profile and respond to only the truly well-suited ones? Have you gotten clearer on the sort of guy who’d be more of an enduring light than a flashy sparkler?
For some people, the icing on the cake or even the cake itself lies beyond work, relationships, and avocations. It’s something larger: whether volunteering for a cause, being involved in a religious organization, or pursuing a spiritual practice such as yoga.
The takeaway
Everyone must come to accept that life is rarely what we fantasized when we were kids. The question is, for you, what feels like a motivating but at least somewhat realistic aspiration?
I read this aloud on YouTube.
