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Key points
- Patience is the key for clarity, so be sure to allocate time for brainstorming.
- It's helpful to talk with others. Seek guidance from trusted peers to normalize uncertainty.
- Human brains do a lot of behind-the-scenes work. Allow for mental rest to let the subconscious problem-solve.
- Getting clear means getting organized. Take time to organize goals meticulously using tools like spreadsheets.
In today’s world of careers where possibilities abound and choices multiply, it’s easy to find yourself lost and scattered. Your ambitions and aspirations can make you feel driven at best and completely overwhelmed at worst. You know you’re ready to do great things in life, but find yourself confused over which great thing to focus on.
Meet “Sarah,” a talented and motivated professional whose mind brims with ideas, yet she feels lost in opportunities. She finds herself frozen and unsure of her next move, resulting in frustration over her lack of progress and clarity. She knows she’s intelligent and capable, which creates even greater irritation as she asks herself, “Why can’t I figure this out on my own? What am I doing wrong here?”
I see this scenario a lot in the adult clients I work with—ambitious and driven people who become distracted and uncertain. They can envision all the options in front of them but can’t commit to one long enough to see it through to the end.
The Path to Clarity
In my work with Sarah, we were able to find the clarity she sought, which brought focus and direction. Let me show you how you can follow the steps she took so that you, too, can gain clarity and direction.
1. Give yourself time and space. We started by giving her time and space to daydream about different possibilities. This was hard for her to do since she wanted instant results, so we also needed to practice a bit of patience and self-compassion along the way. But this time to daydream was crucial—it allowed her brain to play around with different possibilities without getting lost in the logistics or why things wouldn’t work. She also needed frequent reminders that the uncertainty she felt wouldn’t last forever and ended up putting the reminder on a sticky note on her mirror.
2. Don’t go it alone. I asked her to speak with trusted friends and colleagues about her thoughts and visions. This gave her the chance to normalize her uncertainty and to learn from them. Many of her peers had been through what she was going through and gave her key insights and perspectives that were invaluable.
3. Take time away from thinking. She needed time away from thinking about her options, too. When we take space from our problems, our brains continue to work on them subconsciously. Our brains are amazing problem solvers, but much of the work occurs during times of rest or restoration. She needed to add extra runs and time for creativity to her schedule so her brain could do its thing.
4. Get detailed in spreadsheet mode. As she started to have some clarity, I had her play each one out. We created a spreadsheet with an “eagle view” to break down her overall vision and then broke that down into annual, quarterly, monthly, and weekly goals. And we did this exact process with each idea she was still considering.
It was a time-consuming process, but it allowed her to get a sense of what each idea would entail and how she felt about the smaller action steps. If she couldn’t see herself following through on the weekly goals, how in the world would she make the idea come to life?
5. Clean everything up. We finally found the clarity she so desperately wanted. She honed in on one and was excited to get started. We cleaned up her spreadsheets and started over with her new eagle view and broke it down from annual to weekly goals. We were diligent and detailed and didn’t cut corners. It took several hours over several days to really break it down, but now she knows exactly what she’s working towards and what progress looks like.
Staying on Course
She was relieved to get through it (and I was too! I’ve seen many clients through this process, but it’s always difficult when a client is feeling stuck and frustrated). She is now so crystal-clear on her path forward that it’s almost laughable. We joke about how all she has to do is wake up in the morning and follow the steps she’s already laid out. No thinking required!
To help her stay on course, she does a weekly review of her goal spreadsheet, where she makes updates, tracks progress, and adds items to her weekly calendar. She also completes an end-of-the-day review where she checks items off her to-do list and ensures her next day is set up correctly. It helps remind her of her purpose and keeps her focused. She’s no longer distracted by all the other things she could be focusing on because she knows what she wants and how she’s going to achieve it. It takes a little work upfront to set up your system and process, but it makes everything so much easier in the long run.
Just for You
Give yourself time and space to get clear on your vision and allow for daydreaming, as well as time away from thinking about your plans. Play around with different road maps to see which one is most aligned with how you want to live on a daily basis. Once you’ve gained clarity, get detailed and get to work.
But remember that everyone’s timeline will be different with each of the steps, so practice self-compassion and try not to compare where you are to where someone else is. As long as you continue working on it, things will fall into place. You’ll see.
