What Should You Do When You Panic?

Is there really something you should be doing when you panic? No. In a state of panic, you have no ability to do anything. Your mind is as locked up as your computer is when that little wheel is spinning round and round. Your body is frozen, too. In spite of a massive urge to run, you can't move a muscle.

Yet, the web is full of advice about what should you be doing when you are incapacitated. It is a travesty that mental health professionals who should know better are complicit in this.

Trying to calm yourself during a panic attack doesn't work

In a state of panic, a person is frozen. When a person starts to unfreeze, any attempt to end the distress only extends it. Didn't we learn that from Claire Weekes back in 1962 when she wrote Self Help for Your Nerves? In The Woman Who Cracked The Anxiety Code, Judith Hoare writes that Weekes found "trying to teach a patient to relax in the face of phobia or panic was not only counterproductive but an almost impossible mission."

Yet, almost 60 years later we are being told we should breathe in a certain way. Or, we should put a paper bag over our heads. Or, we should distract ourselves by thinking about our "happy place."

Woulda, coulda, shoulda. Maybe those things would help if done before panic starts, but once panic takes control, it doesn't matter whether the advice is from a hack writer on the web or from your therapist; it is useless. It is like, "If I'm at the Grand Canyon and fall off the cliff, what should I do?" Yes indeed. Why not breathe deeply, put a bag over your head, and think about your happy place? It's as good as anything else you could be doing while plunging to your death.

And, oh yes. Speaking of death, don't forget the most important piece of advice. Remember you are not dying. That would be good advice if you could do it. It's just that in the middle of a panic attack, you know you are dying. Since a person is frozen during a panic attack, and anything they do when going in or coming out of an attack is counterproductive, it's no wonder panic sufferers say, "I've tried everything, and nothing works."

But, neuropsychology has come up with something that works. It is not something you do once panic has started. It is something you do when you are cool, calm, and collected. Granted, that is not a time when you want to even think about panic, but that is what you need to do. Training is everything. You need to train a part of your brain that is not bothered by stress to automatically stop panic for you.

The power of unconscious procedural memory

Though the thinking part of your brain is incapacitated by panic, another part functions fine under stress. It is called "unconscious procedural memory." It is a huge storage area in your subcortex that can memorize the steps of things you do repeatedly. Once it has memorized the steps, it can carry you through the steps as if you are on autopilot.

Here's an example. When you first learned to drive, it took all your concentration. Now, you can drive your car while having a conversation. While your conscious mind is having the conversation, your unconscious procedural memory does the driving.

Technically, if you had been calmed reliably enough in the first 18 months of your life, your unconscious procedural memory would already have the steps needed to activate your calming system, the parasympathetic nervous system. About 60% of us were calmed consistently enough for that to happen. Unfortunately, about 40% of us were not calmed consistently enough to build anti-anxiety and anti-panic steps into our unconscious procedural memory. There is a new video on this by Harvard University.

How to train your unconscious procedural memory to stop panic for you

Build the steps in now. Train your unconscious procedural memory to stop panic for you by activating your parasympathetic nervous system when stress starts to build up.

You may have been told panic is due to a chemical imbalance. Panic is due to an imbalance, but rather than chemical, it is an imbalance between the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system.

• The sympathetic nervous system increases your heart rate, breathing rate, perspiration, and tension when stress hormones are released.
• The parasympathetic nervous system ("para" means against) is supposed to work against the sympathetic system and maintain a balance.

Panic isn't possible when the parasympathetic nervous system is doing its balancing act. Correcting a panic-allowing imbalance is simple: "Install" steps to automatically activate your parasympathetic nervous system whenever stress builds up.

Anxiety Essential Reads

How to Grow Your Tolerance for Uncertainty

How Long Do Panic Attacks Last?

Source: Stephen Porges, used with permission.

The renowned neuroscientist Stephen Porges has found the parasympathetic nervous system is activated by signals we receive unconsciously from a person's face, voice, and touch if they are no threat to us physically or emotionally. Activation of the parasympathetic nervous system stimulates the vagus nerve which slows the heart rate, the breathing rate, and relaxes the body.

You can use what Porges has discovered to train your unconscious procedural to automatically activate your parasympathetic nervous system. The following steps are adapted from Panic Free, the book Dr. Porges and I wrote to make this information widely available to panic suffers and to therapists who treat panic.

1. Think of a person you are comfortable with who is not judgmental or critical.
2. When stress increases, activate your parasympathetic nervous system as follows:

• Pretend you see your friend walk in.
• Imagine hearing your friend greet you;
• Fantasize that your friend coming over to give you a huge hug (or whatever physical contact is appropriate for your relationship).

Through repetition of these steps, your unconscious procedural memory will learn to activate your parasympathetic nervous system for you.