Skip to main content

Verified by Psychology Today

Relationships

Who Are the Most Satisfied Singles?

Their longing for love, and their age, play a role.

Key points

  • The new research found no overall association between singles' age and their life satisfaction.
  • The findings reveal the complexity of the connection between longing for love, age, and life satisfaction.
  • A 2022 survey found that a third of American adults are not involved in romantic relationships.
Source: Cottonbro studio/ Pexels
Source: Cottonbro studio/ Pexels

Singlehood is on the rise in America. According to U.S. census data, the percentage of adults age 40 or older, who have never been married, hit a record high of 25 percent in 2021, up from 20 percent ten years earlier.

Of course, that statistic doesn't address the question of how many people are currently single, since some never-married adults are in relationships, and some previously married adults are currently single following divorce or widowhood.

A 2022 survey by Pew Research found that 30 percent of American adults are not involved in romantic relationships. Contrary to stereotypes about desperate singles, that same survey also found that more than 50 percent of singles were not actively looking for a partner, and this was especially true of older single women.

The Bigger Question

But how do people feel about their single status? The statistics tell us about trends in singlehood but don't answer the bigger question of how satisfied singles are with their lives.

As researcher Bella DePaulo often discusses in her own research, singles are frequently stigmatized as miserable and lonely, when in fact, many singles are happy and thriving. Negative stereotypes of singles as socially immature and maladjusted are even stronger for older singles.

New research by Laetitia Hill Roy and colleagues, just published in the journal Personal Relationships, explores the complex interplay of age, relationship goals, and life satisfaction among singles.

Singlehood and Life Satisfaction

Previous studies have shown, not surprisingly, that singles who are satisfied with singlehood tend to be more satisfied with their lives overall than singles who are unhappy with their relationship status. And singles who have a stronger desire for a relationship tend to be less happy about being single. It seems likely that singles who most desire a partner will be less happy than singles who have little desire to enter a relationship.

Singlehood and Age

How might singles' age relate to their overall life satisfaction? Younger singles might see their single status as temporary since younger people tend to move in and out of relationships. This could make them more satisfied with their single status if they see it as temporary.

On the other hand, viewing singlehood as transient may cause them to desire a relationship even more because they hope and expect to enter a long-term partnership. Older singles might be settled into their single status and be relatively content with their life choices.

In fact, a survey of singles found that older, single women were the group of singles least likely to actively look for a partner. On the other hand, older singles might be especially dissatisfied, since singlehood in older adulthood is less common and more stigmatized by society.

New Study Results

In the research, they surveyed over 3,000 single adults, assessing their desire to enter a relationship and their overall life satisfaction. Unsurprisingly, they found that the singles who yearned for a romantic relationship tended to be less content with their lives.

However, contrary to stereotypes about lonely older singles, the research found no overall association between singles' age and their life satisfaction. In addition, older singles expressed less desire for a partner than younger singles, suggesting that they were more content with their single status.

Things got more complicated when the researchers examined the interplay of age, desire for a relationship, and life satisfaction. The association between greater desire for a partner and life satisfaction was stronger for older than for younger singles. So even though older singles, overall, expressed less desire to find a partner, those older singles who strongly desired a romantic partner were especially unhappy with their lives.

In Sum

These findings reveal the complexity of the connection between longing for love, age, and overall life satisfaction. While older singles are less likely to be actively looking for a partner and express less desire for a relationship, those older singles who did have a strong desire to be coupled were the least satisfied with their lives.

Facebook image: Zadorozhna Natalia/Shutterstock

advertisement
More from Gwendolyn Seidman Ph.D.
More from Psychology Today
More from Gwendolyn Seidman Ph.D.
More from Psychology Today