PT Blogs: Get Me?

No one quite sees you as you are. We asked PT's bloggers (blogs.psychologytoday.com) how they are most misunderstood.

Sex Cred

When I was much younger—but already a "sex expert"—a big, handsome, athletic guy I was with said he was very interested in going to bed with me but was intimidated. "Be gentle with me." I was stunned. He made the mistake of thinking that just because someone studies sex they'll be supremely confident or judgmental. But the truth is that each sexual relationship is unique. —Pepper Schwartz (Love Lessons)

Best Comment Ever

I never use a moderate statement when I can get away with a strong one. People misinterpret this to mean I walk around in a state of profound misery or joy, but I just like using colorful words because they make life more interesting and I'm more likely to get a spirited reaction. My U.K. education taught me to express my opinions with conviction and wit, or prepare to be ignored. —Susan Carnell (Bad Appetite)

Keeping It Real

Because I'm a realist, people often think I'm dashing cold water on their plans, when what I mean to do is share my own best coping mechanism. To get beyond the fantasizing stage of any goal, I come up with all possible obstacles, then figure out how to overcome them. Of course, over the years, I've learned that what works for me is deadly to the next person's sense of efficacy. People like cheerleaders better than scientists, so with the exception of one or two intimates, I simply cheer and let people figure out what works for them—even if it often doesn't. —Susan Perry (Creating in Flow)

The Force of Kindness

I'm strong, confident, and reasonably effective. This leads some, I think, to expect me to be thick-skinned, driven, and probably full of myself. If you asked these people what I value most, I fear they would say my success. In fact, what's most important to me is being genuine and caring. With regard to my skin, it's woefully thin. —Ellen Langer (Counterclockwise)

Cruelty to Humans

Some people, before they meet me, think I'm some card-carrying fringe radical nut (why someone who cares about animals would be considered radical is beyond me), but when they meet me they see that I'm a very reasonable and open person. —Marc Bekoff (Animal Emotions)

Funhouse Mirror

I may well be misunderstood by others—by many others indeed—but how do I know I am not misunderstanding myself, or misunderstanding what I take to be others' misunderstandings of me, or indeed misunderstanding my own misunderstandings of me? With such questions spinning, I may collapse into simply accepting what they say about me. —Peter Cave (Philosophical Perplexities)

For the Love of Blogging

In one of her posts, Bella DePaulo (Living Single) counted the ways she loves blogging:

• "The immediacy: If I can set aside everything else, I can have a post online in a matter of hours. Bias doesn't go unchallenged for long."
• "The opportunity to spotlight people who are not the usual faces: You've probably never heard of many of the people I mention and interview."
• "Correcting the scientific record: The popular press can't seem to get enough stories with the same bottom line. And typically, it is all bunk."