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Are you a worrier? People who spend much of their time worrying carry a tremendous amount of stress. The more you worry, the more you generate stress in your body. And, chronic stress takes a toll on the body and can cause health issues such as headaches, insomnia, and muscle tension. When we allow worry to take over, it can seem as if we’ve lost control over our thoughts. Have you noticed that worrying begets more worrying?
Did you know that worrying is just a habit, a learned behavior? Perhaps you grew up in a home where things were unpredictable so you began to worry because you never knew what to expect. Or, perhaps you had a parent who was a worrier and you learned that this was a normal state of being. No matter the reason, we are always in control of our thoughts and therefore, can always control whether or not to allow worry to occupy our mind.
Some people believe that worrying protects us from danger. Could that really be true? Perhaps you come up with solutions to a problem when you worry. But, do you need to worry to find solutions? A question I ask my clients is, “how much worrying do you have to do to ensure nothing bad happens?” Of course, the answer is always: There is no amount of worrying you can do to ensure nothing bad happens.
Below is one thing you can do to take control of your worrying. If you do this exercise for five minutes a day for seven days, you will see a tremendous improvement.
Set a worry time.
- Pick a time and place when you won’t be disturbed to focus on what’s worrying you. Make sure you use the same time and place every day. Have pen and paper in the spot.
- Set a timer for a minimum of 5 minutes and a maximum of 15 minutes.
- Write down the issues on paper.
- Pick one issue and ask yourself the following questions: What are the resources I need to resolve the issue? Which of those resources do I already have? Can I do it on my own or do I need help?
- As soon as the timer goes off, stop the exercise, remind yourself that you will have time again the next day to worry, and leave the location.
If at any time during the next few days you find yourself worrying, stop and remind yourself that there is a set time for worrying, and find something to distract yourself.
Do this exercise daily for at least seven days or for as long as you need until you feel that worrying is no longer occupying your thoughts.
By making a specified time and place to worry, you are taking back control of your worries. By writing them down, you will no longer have to keep them at the front of your mind.
Remember, start by doing the worry list once a day for seven days and see the difference in how you feel and act. Remind yourself that once you put the paper away, you will leave those problems until the next worry time. It might take some practice, but, if you stick to it, it works!
