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Key points
- Many people find themselves dealing with grief and loss at the end of the year.
- Mindfulness and self-reflection tools can help them cope.
- Some examples include the Grief Point Exercise, writing, drawing, dancing, and movement.
The end of the year is supposed to be filled with joy and celebration. At least, that’s what the media tells us. But we are often overwhelmed by loneliness and grief. The holidays and the end of the year can trigger feelings of loneliness, especially when we have lost loved ones or are spending these days alone.
Rather than fighting the feelings, acknowledge them. Let’s allow ourselves to feel the pain and process it. When we do this, we engage in the healing process. Read below to learn about an exercise I often do as I have lost many loved ones in my life. It can be used to help us sit with grief during the holidays.
Grief Point Exercise
We carry so much grief within: ancestral, intergenerational, personal losses, and pain. Grief makes our hearts ache, and we want to ignore, suppress, and just not feel. In this simple exercise, we touch the center of grief in our hearts.
Along the sternum over the heart is one point that is more sensitive than the others. Find that point, gently touch it, and allow yourself to feel and release the pain.
Now come down four finger-widths further from the thymus point (this is six finger-widths from the collar bone or clavicle soft spot).
Use your middle finger to feel for areas of tension on the breastbone. This is the grief point.
Apply gentle pressure to the grief point, close your eyes, and breathe.
Allow yourself to feel the losses that you’ve had, not to fight or resist them.
Enter into the heart, where grief is held. You may feel a softening or lightening of pain or tension.
No judgment, no seeking, no yearning, just paying attention and allowing.
Do this for one minute.
Take your hand away and give yourself a moment, then open your eyes.
If you are up for it, take time to reflect on any emotions or sensations that arise after the grief point exercise.
Additional Ways to Heal
There are countless reflection tools, and every person will have their own preferences. Some ideas for reflection include:
Writing: This can be in the form of journaling, quick bullet points, poetry, prose, or any other form that helps you express your feelings in a space where they can be revisited and reflected upon later.
Talking out loud: Record yourself speaking your thoughts and feelings aloud, or engage in a conversation with a loved one, whether in person or virtually.
Drawing: Sketch out an image that is left in your mind. This could be a symbol, a place, or something more abstract.
Dancing or moving: Express feelings by moving more deeply into your body, and dance or move as an expression of your deepest self.
Learn more self-care exercises and rituals and discover natural remedies for grief, sadness, and depression in my book, Natural Woman: Herbal Remedies for Radiant Health at Every Age and Stage of Life.
